And I went down hill. I hit rock bottom and didn't even notice, I was so focused on counting down the weeks, every time I felt horrid I would say to myself, "it's fine. X many weeks and I'm gone and I'll be good then."
I was eating two meals a day, most days. A big Breakfast and a big lunch, and occasionally dinner if I was hungry in the evening, but I usually wasn't.
Every time I saw my sister, she would tell me to eat a burger.
But I didn't see it. Though I did have a few pairs of shorts that started feeling big.
For 6 weeks, I did not wash my hair.. And for some reason I thought it was fine...
I know I was neglecting myself in other ways, but my memory is very vague of that time.
It was a few days before I was finishing up at work, and I had an anxiety attack, I didn't even realize what it was! - I have always had issues with anxiety, I notice what's going on before my nerves even start tingling, usually... But this was not like that. All it was was a sharp pain in my rib which made me feel like I couldn't take a proper breath in. I thought it was a stitch or a cramp or something, until it wouldn't go away and I began getting dizzy and faint from a lack of oxygen.
This was like a slap in my face. It was my body telling me. No, screaming at me, to wake the hell up and look after myself.
So now I had two more weeks until I was to board my flight for England. Not really sure what I did in those weeks. Sold my car. Filled out forms for my sister to buy me out on our house. And finished reading the hunger games books - could not put them down!
Oh, and focused on looking after myself a bit more.
I guess this was a life lesson here. How important it is to look after oneself.
When I had that anxiety attack, I had a doctor say that I shouldn't be going anywhere in my condition.
But where would I be then? I don't believe I would have gotten better staying where I was. My condition was environmental and even now, the idea of going back makes me anxious, but now it's something that I know I can overcome.
Everything that happens in life will bring with it opportunities. A chance to do something, go somewhere, say something or even just the opportunity to have a thought, an epiphany about where you're going with your life, what you're doing, or what you want or need at that time..
you forgot the part where mum said to go! great post sweetie, love the style that's developing, keep it up!
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